weddingsv make me drug and hornr
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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