I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
