belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i think i have two assholes
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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