what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
