Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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