She announced her abortion via fbk
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We need to get me chipped asap
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
