Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Randomize
