I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
