I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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