well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
