Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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