I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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