Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
