just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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