I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
