Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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