I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
