And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
