Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
