I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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