I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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