dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
