oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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