I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
