I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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