haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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