at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
