just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
