porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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