Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
