Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
