dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
