question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
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It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
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Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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