I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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