Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He better not be in your backpack
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
