My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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