I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
