Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
