I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
