I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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