Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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