I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
