Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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