the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
