I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize