If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
