I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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