i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I touched a dick in church today
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