why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
