Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
