I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize