is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
