Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
