I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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