Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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