yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
