Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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